Book: Een kus… en een knuffel!

Why are my daughters dying?


As a team leader, Ruud Zuurman was involved in the Fall of Srebrenica in 1995. Several years later, two of his three daughters turned out to have a rare, incurable disease. A horrid illness where he sees his children deteriorate gradually.

He movingly describes how his feelings about Srebrenica and the disease of his daughters become intertwined. He also talks about his fatherly love, powerlessness, sadness and deep fear of the inevitable.



  • “Een kus … en een knuffel! is an exceptionally moving story.” Algemeen Dagblad
  • “Ruud Zuurman explicitly confronts himself.” Het Streekblad
  • “Ruud Zuurman impressively shows his vulnerability.”
  • “My first thought when and after reading the book was: how much can a person bear? At the same time, the book provides the answer: an immense amount! I found reading this book a very special experience. Firstly, because of Ruud’s whole life story and his unbridled resilience and optimism. But what was quite exceptional was that I found it a very exciting book alongside this moving history. This is usually not the case. You read these types of books with recognition, compassion, you also try to find support. But I also wanted to know, and very quickly, how all this would end. Een kus … en een knuffel!; an impressive book, an impressive life story…” Toos Kool, reviewer, Association of Parents with a Deceased Child



You can order the book with ISBN 978-94-6176-394-5 via boekscout. Only available in Dutch.


Ruud gives lectures on the theme of ‘Moving between power and vulnerability’. A few reviews:

Ruud Zuurman was an exceptionally inspiring speaker. The subject he spoke about was “Moving between power and vulnerability”.

During the lecture he managed to fascinate his audience and involve them intensely in his story about how to find a balance between the two extremes of power and vulnerability. The impressive silence in the room and the special conversations after the lecture indicate his power to strike the right chord among his audience.

Duco Brongers, Rotary The Netherlands


For me Ruud is the personification of the movement between power and vulnerability; he has the looks, the authority and the power of a serviceman. He makes an impression on people, so people believe what he has to say. At the same time, I know hardly anyone who dares to put himself in such a vulnerable position as a human being and is so empathetic as a trainer and process counsellor. This combination makes Ruud very special. His lectures and programmes are, partly because of this, very distinctive and have enormous depth.

Hesther le Grand, trainer and relationshipcoach